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Two crafters enter, only one leaves ALIVE!

Not quite but it’s close.  New on the Style Network  Craft Corner Deathmatch pits two crafters against each other in a 2 round battle. Whomever wins competes against the Craft Lady of Steel. It has a tounge in cheek comedy that reminds me quite a bit of Japanese gameshows, or something you would see on UHF

The episode we saw involved making a brooch out of candy, and crafting a scrapbook page for that very moment. The best bit was the Crafty Lady of Steel and the host. "I’m sorry Julie, you lost. NOW LEAVE!"

And if you find yourself inspired by the show you can always Play along at home

I’m proud of my role as cruise director. I’m pleased that  the events I plan turn out well. What’s nice is having special events become easy. 

Yes this is Yet ANOTHER Thanksgiving post.

Its nice that such a special dinner can be low key as I busy myself with the preperations but don’t drive myself crazy  with the stress. (After all who hasnt done that before)

Thanksgiving this year was at my house with the Not-In-Laws and the family. It was a delight as always. I burned myself on Wednesday night so the injury portion of the evening was covered early. I got up around 9ish and put the turkey to the oven, basting it with butter/garlic chicken broth. (And injecting it with some as well.)  Cranberries were done the night before, so they were chilling in the fridge. Rolls were started from scratch and I put together the stuffing. Half of what I did I set aside a smaller bit, as we were also gifting our favorite coffee shop owner with a suprise vegetarian dinner.

I had time to sit and take a break before the final push. Veggies and mashers were the last items to be made. Dinner was served right at time 4:00ish, as I had planned.  This is dispite the gin and tonic I had during the last hour of cooking. Aron’s been officially fired as my bartender as the drink was good, but a little too strong for me to be cooking after .

We sat down to a dinner of the following:

(Read on …)

I’ve been homeless before. Even when I was homeless I did it in a very priveleged white girl sort of way. I’ve had homeless periods where I had a job, but no place to live. I had a boyfriend, and a small amount of money. I crashed on the floor of the movie theater where he worked, rented a motel room when I could afford it , worked overnight, and slept in the common areas of the community college I attended. It was a fairly cushy exsistance for being homeless.

Yet dealing with homeless are one of the hardest things for me on a daily basis. I know that part of my faith journey is figuring out how to make a differnce in a productive manner. As Jesus says, whatever you do to the least of these you do to me. I need to find a way to help. Sometimes though, its hard enough just looking them in the eye.

Spare Change frequents the ave. I’m sure he has a real name, but I know him as Spare change for his soft voice and gentle intonation as he asks, "Spare change?" Never devieting from the routine, he always asks in a whisper, gratefully taking whaterver is offered. I found him annoying. I found him intrusive, I found him irritating and agitating.

His inability to differ his routine grated on me. First I took an aggressive approach. I literally yelled at him mimicking his call "Spare Change" I pushed hard feeling my stomach turn, as i yelled at the innocent panhandler for doing nothing more then then asking for a basic handout in a soft and gentle way.

I couldnt do it for long. Each time I did it I felt worse and worse. Finally i came up with a new tactic. When I saw him in the morning I’d says "Good Morning" On the way home I’d wish him a good evening. I would ignore the request for spare change, but acknowledge him as a human being.

He began to change. Instead of dreading running into him, I began to enjoy my brief interactions with him. He stopped asking me for spare change, but instead would occasionally say good morning to me. And I changed, occasionally thrusting a few dollars into his hand.  He’s a coffee drinker, I know this much, One of these days when I’m feeling both brave and flush I’m going to take him for a cup of coffee. Or maybe buy him a starbucks card with a little cash on it.

It’s funny how  doing the right thing, looking someone straight in the eye  and saying a genuine good morning can have such an impact.

At this time of the year my mind always turns to the friends I have , and the friends who are maybe not in my life anymore. It comes to mind particularly today because it’s Chris’s Birthday. We met 2 years ago at a Halloween party, and I remember taking him to Mama’s for his birthday lunch.  Now we don’t even talk at all.

Part of me mourns for the friendship that we hand. There was no drastic falling out, no fight between us. No shouting no throwing of things. We just sort of stopped talking. This being the Passive -Agressive Northwest I’m sure we both assume the other one knows why we don’t talk. (I can just hear it "How can you not know why I’m upset")

This isnt just about Chris though.

(Read on …)

I’m going to the Wal-Mart movie screening in Edmonds, you should come too.  More details are here:

http://action.bravenewfilms.org/event/wm_screening.jsp?event_KEY=6931
You can find out more about Robert Greenwald’s documentary, "Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price", and other showings here:

http://www.walmartmovie.com/

I’m bored in my English 101 class. It’s basic freshman composition and I am bored.  We’ve been working on an arugmentative paper and at a recent class  we spent the class period dissecting a classmates paper. It was a classic case for gay marriage. The essay wasnt written how I would have written it , but it wasnt bad, until the end.

At the end of the article there was an ad hominom attack. Basically it said "Gay Marriage should not be prevented from becoming legal by the Tyrannical Christians. " I got to the end of the paper , read that and immediatly wrote on the paper "Back it up"  An unsubstantiated attack at the end of the paper, weakend it over all. It also put myself and another Christian in the classroom on the defensive. Soon the class was in full blown discussion over the topic.

I stepped back from the situation a bit, and at break went to the girl in question. Thanking her  for offering up her paper I shed a little light on my defense. "I understand that you’ve had this experience, but as a bisexual christian with a gay (commited) pastor, It was hard not to take offense. My Church even adopted a "Marriage Rights for All " Stance in July of this year.  She and another classmate expressed their surprise. I smiled and walked away allowing them to enjoy the rest of the 10 minute break.

Ashley, the gal who had written the paper, did express that she used to be Christian, until her Church told her that she loved her sister too much by supporting her homosexuality. Ashley walked away from the Church at that point. I can’t say I blame her.  What I should have done next was extended an invitation, told her to come to my church at some point and see what we are about.

To be honest, I was afraid. In my peer group, in my city , in my social group, it is not common, and not well thought of to be Christian. Part of it has to do with their age. I think a fair number of number of my peers are at the age where they are escaping the influences from growing up, including Church. They are on their own and making their own decisions, backlashing against the default that they were taught.

Christians have a bad reputation. Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson are great examples of this. I’ve seen books discussing how  the purpose of Church is to subvert a congergation for a political purpose. Much of what the Christian Majority does seems very unchristian.

To be honest, I’m not one to judge, as I do not want to be judged. I just hold close the advice "Follow Christ, not other Christians" For obvious reasons. That said, I’d like to feel comfortable discussing my faith more, maybe inviting people to my church, and even defending my faith when need be.

I’d seen the announcement in last weeks church bulliten. Since we were in need of worship leaders, I emailed Pastor Dan to offer my service. It’s a nervous making role, even for one who has been at the front of an audience many times while performing trainings. While the audience is the kindest there could be, their kindness makes me  want to inspire.

In his return email Pastor Dan asked a simple favor. Would I step up during the stewardship testamonial and talk about finding church again and how it had affected me and encourage people to fill out their pledge forms for the 20th.   "But I havent filled mine out either!" I agreed and began thinking about what I would say.

You see we’ve lived in this area for a year and  a half. I had researched Church’s and found Broadview UCC because it met my needs for a progressive church that was accepting. It took nearly a  year before I decided to walk the two blocks and attend my first service. I settled into a seat after recieving a very well welcome from Pastor Dan and looked carefully at the bulliten, hoping it would have the secret information inside that told me why I was there.

The service began and progressed when I realized, It was my mothers birthday. She would have been 51 that very day. Sitting there in the church I suddenly had a realization that this is where I was meant to be. Mom would have been happy for me, and  there was some significance that I was there on her very birthday. I began to cry, tears welling up and rolling down my cheeks as I tried to hide it from these very nice strangers sitting near me. I made it through the end of the service and  figured I would sneak out the back  quickly before coffee hour. Stepping out I was hugged by a very tall gentleman who smiled down and me and said "You are coming for coffee right?"

I couldn’t say no. I wandered downstairs and had a cup of coffee and began to meet the rest of the congregation . For me the return to church is based heavily on finding my personal path, and coming to terms with my personal beliefs. It is important to me that I have a very grounded faith.

The church congregation is key in this as well though. To have a community so welcoming and forgiving, so understanding and confirming gives me the freedom to find out who I am in this guise. I have the room and freedom to grow in my faith. 

Standing up and explaining this was hard though. I tripped over my words and explained why members should not only look at the bottom line dollar wise when they made their commitment, but also look at their time and talent portion. They should dig deep into their hearts and over up out of their time and not just their pocket books.

As a member its imprortant to me that the Broadview UCC  meets its commitment of being an open and affirming church, that it is a place that I can grow, exploring my faith. It is important that it be welcoming , understanding, confirming and forging. In turn as a member I need to meet my commitments of supporting my church, not only through what I can offer up financially, but in time and talents as well.

I’m hoping the message was heard this morning as I ponder meeting my personal commitments to my congregation.

I consider myself to be a fairly crafty person. Fairly creative. I’ve done cooking, baking,  soap making, knitting, candlemaking, basic gardening, stamping. Soimeday maybe i’ll even add sewing, scrapbooking and advanced gardening. All in good time.   Being crafty has become somewhat of a movement these days, and to be honest I’m slightly horrified.

Too often in todays crafty world what is crafty is little more then a 7th grade Home Ec project. Felt monsters, sock animals, t-shirt hand batiked with the arms cut off in an asymetrical fashion It’s all incredibly cool, and all incredibly JR High in my opinion.

This kind of homeyness is great in things you are crafting and giving away. The refrain of "It’s handmade " is sincere as you hand the felt fuzzy buddy over to your friend, neighbor or sweetheart.

Whats astonishing me is the trend of selling these decorative items. Where is the charm in saying "I bought this homemade item for you, because I couldnt be bothered making it"  It’s the justification of these crafters that "I’m craftier then thou and I can sell my stuff"

For example Need a Lumpy Cell Phone Case? or a Bracelet with globs of glitter? oe even an odd felt cat ? These things would all be charming in their own right, if they were really homemade. Buying them at a Craft Fair cheapens it.

But these items were part of an "Urban Craft Upraising" Held this weekend in Seattle.

(Read on …)

Stopping for a moment to make this entry. The setting accuratly illustrates my point. Life is busy. We do a lot, cramming every bit of experience we can into life, sometimes dropping commitments or interests in the face of something more fun, something more interesting, or something just more .

As I sit writing this entry I have both of my cats curled up on my bed. One on a red and black fleece, the other curled in the rough electric blanket (unplugged) The light is dimmed and my music plays softly. Bed should come soon, after all it’s been a full day.

But you have to take time for what’s important. Time is finite and you have to prioritize. With school, work and family all on my plate, I’m not always the best at this, and I find that a lot of it has to do with routine. I do much better when I get into a routine. I accomplish more and feel better about what I accomplish.

Its setting a routine to go walking, to take time out  take a deep breath and just put one foot in front of the other. A meditative contemplative walking prayer. Time to be open minded and honest and to take a moment to commune with god and nature.

Its setting a routine to do reading for Church. Since I can’t make the study group on Thursday’s studying on my own is called for. 

It’s setting a routine to be available as a volunteer for church. Choosing activites that I enjoy and using them to benefit the church.Office work, webwork, writing, ushering, coffee hour host are all things I can do. I just need to dedicate myself to doing them.

Sometimes you need to make the time to take the time.

If life is made of moments we remember, what happens to the ones that we forget? If time is like an ocean that surrounds us, you cannot reach the shore and not get wet. So if each and every moment helps define you, then one is as important as the next. – david m bailey -Life

I spend time thinking about the moments I can’t remembers. There are years that I can not remember clearly. There are events that I know happened, that I just can not remember clearly. Transitions are commonly lost on me. I remember working at Dunkin Donuts in highschool, but I don’t remember quitting. I remember not working there though.

I was thinking about this today on the bus. The Doors came on my Ipod and immediatly my mind was brought back to the summer between my sophmore and junior year in highschool. It was my second year at the zoo working in Elephent hut, the ice cream stand. I was friends with Jessica. She was like me, busty, shorty and redheaded. She lived near the zoo, and we were fast friends. She was dating Eric, who was friends with Dave, also from my home town. I was dating her friend Jake and it was at Jake’s garage that I’d been to my first ever beer party.

Jake lived in the garage. It was unheated, but it gave him plenty of space, and the freedom to come and go as he wished. A chunky geek boy, he was terminally shy, but thrilled to have a girlfriend. He was intimidated by Dave and Erics obvious coolness as they ran out to get beer. Since I was staying at Jessica’s that night I wasnt worried about getting home. All I remember of the party is everyone drinking but me, as I didnt like beer. (I didnt develop a taste for beer till my 20′s)

When they realized I didnt like beer, they drunkenly stumbled towards the door thinking that they would go get me wine coolers.I was nonplussed, more amused at the idea of these three drunk underage boys trying to buy wine coolers at the local walgreens.  They gave up and Jessica and I went home to fall asleep in her bed. 

I remember breaking up with Jake and breaking his heart. I wasnt happy, he wanted a convienent girlfriend, but didnt know what to do with one. We didnt go anywhere or do anything. Sex seemed like an ok idea at that age, but he was just interested in straight intercourse where I wanted to fool around and have a little fun. I don’t remember what happened to Jessica. Did we have a fight? Did we just not speak? What  happened there? Where did the time go, where did my memories go?

Looking for the past

I still look for the past. Usually it’s just through google. Tossing in a name here or there to see if I can  find some one who means something to me from the past. Sometimes I hit pay dirt. Most of the time I just get dust. I look for my best friend from highschoo. My ex boyfriend who hung out with us. I looke for former coworkers at the Zoo. I sometimes feel like I’m looking for history to better understand who I am today, and how I got where I am.

So if you are out there : Nakesha Love, Marty Racay, Tony Gentilcore, Dan Huff, Victor Sanchez Drop me a line and lets catch up on who we were and who we are.